What the heck is self love?

What the heck is self love?

Growing up I would hear people say "you must love yourself" and I honestly had no idea what they meant by that. How do you love yourself? Some people grew up knowing. Some people grew having a hint and than finding out later in life. For me it has been a lifetime of searching. I think the reason there is no clear cut answer is because everyone is different. So loving yourself looks different for everybody. It's an individual thing. Only you know how to love you. Well what if you don't know how to love yourself?

After years of researching through therapy, self help books, pastors, teachers, coaches, counselors, etc...there are some common steps to finding that self love that I have found.

First of all it was defining or rewording it in my brain. Self love (as I can understand it) is the way you see yourself. The way you talk to yourself. The way you present yourself to the world. Do you feel worthy of love? Do you know you matter? Do you know you have a purpose for being here? Do you feel comfortable taking up space? Do you know the difference between self love and selfish?

I struggled with feelings of selfishness. It was that fear that kept me silent. I thought being "humble" was the same as being invisible. Stay quiet so I never offended anyone. I put others above myself so much that I buried myself and my gifts. My voice is my gift and I chose to remain silent so others could shine.

I became so low that I tried to take my own life. At the lowest point I was hospitalized and on suicide watch. The biggest bully in my life was me and I was so blinded by fear that I almost took myself out of service.

What are some things that I did to combat this fear? Asking for help was the first BIG step!! Daily affirmations, mirrorwork, prayer, coping skills, meditation, yoga, exercise, music, writing, journaling, therapy, etc. I know I was put here to shine. Just like I know you were put here to shine. If you struggle with the idea of self love, do me a favor and talk to someone about it. We need you to be your best self for the world. That starts with loving yourself.

-Layloni

Rock and Roll Cheerleader